Humor Me: Seattle

I’m sure there are a lot more depressing words than “Back from vacation” (“President Donald Trump” and “President Hillary Clinton” are two that come to mind), but there’s not many.

My wife and I have just returned from a week long Alaskan Cruise to celebrate our thirtieth anniversary.  There was a time in my life when I thought I wouldn’t be married thirty minutes, much less thirty years.

The day before the cruise, we spent the day in Seattle, Washington. It has the bluest skies you’ve ever seen if it isn’t cloudy and rainy.

It seemed like a great town, if you are into coffee and everyone wanting to be a socialist. I kid, I kid.

Oddly enough, Seattle sort of reminded me Gatlinburg, Tennessee, except without funnel cakes. It was very hilly and had lush greenery growing up the hills. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see a “Hillbilly Golf” sign stuck on a hill.  Of course, the sign would have said “People’s Mini-Golf Where Everyone Wins and Uses The Same Bathroom”.

It was cooler temperature-wise than Atlanta. Strange for all of the rain Seattle gets as a port city, it was not very humid at all. It was a very pleasant 55 degrees.

We stayed at The Hotel Ballard which is a “boutique” hotel in the Ballard section of Seattle. I’m not quite sure what a “boutique” hotel is except that it is pretty nice. The front desk help pronounced my last name correctly on the first try, which never happens.

The Ballard section of Seattle is kind of like Greenwich Village in New York. No fast food restaurants. Lots of coffee shops where I assume everyone makes 30 dollars an hour. Two “vinyl” or record shops across the street from each other.

Telephone polls were plastered with Music Marketing 101 signs. The most prominent one was for The Great Spiders, Invisible Hand, and Night Boss concert at “The Sunset”. These are actual Seattle bands. In Nashville, they would have been chasing that neon rainbow, but it Seattle they must be chasing that mythical flannel shirt.

The Great Spiders

Seattle is known for their coffee. I stopped in at The Ballard Coffee Works. It was a fine cup of Joe.

There were a lot of little nick-nack stores. One store, in this peaceful section of the Worker’s Paradise of Seattle, feature gnomes  getting eaten by Godzilla.  They also had a gnome smoking a cigarette.  Cute, I guess.

One store featured my favorite sign: “Sasquatch for President”.   Underneath it was a bumper sticker: “Dogs Welcome, People Tolerated”

Ok, I couldn’t find the sign on Google, but here it is on a shirt

When you are in Seattle, you have to go to the Pike Place Market. We went and it was an experience. There were lots of flower shops and of course, The Throwing Fish Guys.

The Throwing Fish Guys are at  The Pike Place Fish Market and it is probably the best free entertainment on earth. If someone gave me a choice between a Justin Bieber concert or watching The Throwing Fish Guys I would go with The Throwing Fish Guys every time.

God Bless America

It was at Pike Place where I encountered a Typical Manis Issue or a TMI.  I called the town’s only cab company for a ride back to the hotel.  I know, I know. There’s a little thing called Uber now and I don’t have to call a cab.  I’ve always been a little slow on new ideas like Uber and Donald Trump for President.

Me:  “I’d like a cab to come pick me up.”
Cab:  “Where are you at?
Me:    ” Pike Place Market”
Cab:  “Where’s that?”

Pike Place Market is probably the busiest tourist area in Seattle besides The Space Needle. My life.

That was the only glitch in Seattle because we did eventually get a cab and the next day we started our cruise.

Next Time:  North To Alaska